Missing School and the Feeling Guilty

What I Learned In School Today: Not only do I dislike missing a day of school, I feel guilty about it.

Today was my first day back at school since last Wednesday as I spent the better part of the past five days celebrating the weddings of two wonderful couples. We had an amazing time celebrating with friends and enjoying the festivities of the weekend, but being away from work for three consecutive days was difficult. While I knew everything could be handled by my principal and staff in my absence, I still felt guilty taking the time off in the midst of the school year for a personal reason.

Why did I feel guilty? I knew the school would be fine without me for a few days, I had vacation days available, and I completed urgent projects and tied up loose ends before leaving. Also, while I promised myself I wouldn’t be glued to my phone while away, I couldn’t help but check email on occasion and respond to text messages as they came.

Why do we often feel the need to remain connected and feel guilty when separated from our schools? Is it the pressure of the job? Lofty expectations of ourselves? Passion for the work? For me, it’s a combination of the three. I genuinely love my job, want to do it well, and have a long to-do list that requires constant attention. Additionally, while I feel much more comfortable in my second year as an administrator, I am still new to the position and my school district and therefore acutely aware of how I am perceived by my fellow administrators. I hate not being in the building during the school year, but I hope with more experience, the guilt will not be as severe.